


Untitled Gift Exchange

by fae_of_the_rose



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Idia Didn't Ask for This, M/M, Riddle Would Like Floyd to Not, Super Late Secret Santa Exchange, Very Gently Beta'd, Vil Schoenheit Has The Most Sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28926558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fae_of_the_rose/pseuds/fae_of_the_rose
Summary: So what happens when one of your boyfriends doesn't like sweets and all you ever give people is sweets? This, apparently.(Or: it is a wonderful day at Night Raven, and you are a distressed prefect.)
Relationships: Cater Diamond/Riddle Rosehearts, Trey Clover/Cater Diamond/Riddle Rosehearts
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	Untitled Gift Exchange

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nitohkousuke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nitohkousuke/gifts).



> So this Secret Santa didn't even start happening until mid-December, which is why it's being posting now and not a month ago, so please pardon the Hilariously Late Christmas Fic! 
> 
> For @nitohkousuke

This was going to be the end of him. He had survived Overblot, his mother finding out about his boyfriend, and Floyd's latest round of "terrify the rest of the class" during PE. He had survived Halloween, potion mishaps, and the disaster that was Ace and Deuce attempting to bake Trey a birthday cake.

But this? This would be the end of one Riddle Rosehearts, and he knew it.

A shame he seemed to be the only one, as Trey merely smiled as he ran a hand through Riddle's hair and watched him scroll angrily through Magizon for gift ideas. "It's Cater. He'll love anything you get for him, you know."

"This is the first year we're all together. It has to be _perfect,_ Trey." Riddle's thumb hovered over a bottle of rose-flavored soda before sighing and scrolling past it. "And I wish you had told me he didn't like sweet things before today."

Trey glanced over at the box of chocolates that had been Riddle's first idea, only to be set aside. "He does like chocolate, though. You could still--"

"I cannot! Not a single piece of that is dark enough for him, because I bought _sweet chocolate._ And I'm not going to let you use your magic so they taste right. It's a bad gift if your boyfriend has to illusion the taste so your boyfriend will eat it." Riddle paused as he tried to make sense of that sentence before moving on. "Lemon cakes are probably too sweet, too…"

"Have you considered something non-edible?" Stating the obvious, perhaps, but...

It got him a Look. "Have you?" When Trey didn't respond, Riddle just hummed. "Thought so."

"Hush, you."

A silence fell over the two of them as Riddle continued browsing until, with a groan, Riddle set his phone down and buried his face in Trey's chest, leaning into the petting. "This is impossible. He doesn't even have a Magizon wishlist. His Magicam is just selfies. He doesn't follow any companies anywhere on social media--and before you ask, none of the artists he follows have commissions open at the moment. I checked."

"You could ask--"

"No, I can't! He's our boyfriend, and a good boyfriend should know what to get his partner without having to _ask._ " A beat, and then, thoughtfully: "But I could ask others. Idia is in his class, isn't he? And maybe the first years know something...I could speak with Vil, maybe, they're both from Pyroxene and he might know the sorts of things popular there or that someone like Cater might like…" Reaching for his phone to make notes on who to ask, Riddle missed Trey's bemused and fond expression as he watched.

(And sent off a text to Yuu about how much he adored his boyfriends, but how _completely stupid_ they could both be sometimes, before replying to Cater's "so what can I get Riddle" text.)

* * *

**_Hello, Idia. I would like your help with something, if you would. You're in Cater's class and, as one of his boyfriends, I want to make sure I get him something he'll like for Christmas. Would you or Ortho happen to have any ideas? If you don't, could I ask for your help in finding something he might like on the internet? I would pay for your services._ **

**_Riddle_ **

* * *

Some part of Riddle wondered if Ace and Deuce still thought of him as this tyrant of the dorm, someone to be feared and later pelted with eggs.

The rest of him was _fairly certain_ they were just troublemakers who didn't want to get caught, and he was pretty sure that was mostly Ace's fault. 

He just stood in the door to their dorm room and watched as they tried (and failed) to hide the very-much-against-the-rules Christmas tree they were clearly decorating. As he watched, Deuce tripped over a stray ornament.

"Uh, c-can we help you, prefect?" Deuce asked, not-so-subtly kicking the ornament under Ace's bed.

Riddle didn't respond right away, instead choosing to take a seat in the only chair free of clothing or textbooks and just watching. The two first years shared a look. Riddle said nothing. They looked at him. Riddle still said nothing.

"Prefect--"

"Do either of you know what Cater might like for Christmas?"

Dead silence for a moment before Ace lost it, arm over his stomach as he tried to keep standing while laughing. Deuce pounded his back, muttering something about "stop it"; Ace just fell to the floor. Riddle just sat there, waiting. Watching. And getting more and more annoyed with each passing nanosecond. (And, to his credit, Deuce _did_ keep glancing over at Riddle like he was watching the dial on a pressure cooker slowly approach critical levels as he tried to shut his best friend up. Riddle would be merciful next time he broke a rule.)

Eventually Ace stopped laughing, eyes watering as he got to his feet. "Why are you asking us, Prefect? Aren't you his boyfriend?" Another snicker.

It took every ounce of humility and adoration for his boyfriend Riddle had not to just leave right then and there. Instead, he just took a deep breath before saying anything. "Because he doesn't like sweets, and I only recently found out."

This time both first years just stared at him. "And…?" A beat, and then Ace makes a small "oh" noise. "That's all you ever give people, isn't it?"

He knew Ace could be smart. Riddle nodded. "And Trey is not helpful." Trey was probably amused.

The first years glanced at each other; Riddle could almost see the gears turning. Finally, Deuce just shrugged. "Fancy cheeses and a sausage? Mixed nuts?" Ace snickered. Deuce pressed on. "Mom says you can never go wrong with that, though she usually gave 'em to her boss...uh, there's no rules against not-boozy-mulled cider, right…?"

Well, it was something. Riddle nodded and got to his feet. "Thank you, Deuce. Ace, rule 57: you must not mock others who ask for help. Sam has all fifty-six Heartslabyul Christmas trees waiting for pick up at his store. I hope you've mastered that shrinking spell. Deuce, first year dorm trees have to be no taller than a foot--just cut off more of the bottom and you'll be fine." With that, Riddle headed out of the dorm to the protests of Ace and the confused "what's so funny about sausages and nuts" of Deuce.

* * *

Riddle checked his phone. Hm. Idia hadn't even read his text message. Odd.

* * *

Class being a bit distracted and unfocused this close to the holidays wasn't surprising, especially since Trein himself was distracted with a crisis involving his sons, a party, and his stepson apparently drawing all the attention. Riddle grimaced in sympathy as Trein excused himself to his office as the painfully high pitched cry of his eldest came loud and clear over the phone. Reminded him of his grandmother.

But Trein being otherwise occupied meant there was time to scroll through the internet again in an attempt to figure something out for Cater. Sweets were still out, obviously, and Riddle couldn't afford clothes, but...hm. Maybe a hat…?

"Mmm, what are you talking about, Goldfishie?"

"Floyd!" Riddle tried to dodge Floyd as he made to flop over his shoulders but failed, of course, meaning he now had Floyd putting almost all of his weight on his back. "Get _off!_ "

"Don't wanna. Not unless you tell me what has my Goldfishie talking to himself~" Floyd reached out to poke Riddle's cheek. It took everything Riddle had not to try and bite it. He was more mature than that.

And Floyd might take it for flirting, anyway.

Moving on.

"I am not talking to myself," Riddle retorted, "and even if I was it isn't any of your business."

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn't involve you." The bell rang, signaling the end of class and the start of lunch. Floyd stood up and went to get his things; Riddle took his chance to escape and was out the door before Floyd was even done shoving his book in his bag. Why did he have to share a class with him, why couldn't Crowley just move Floyd into Jade's class like Floyd kept saying he wanted…

He was so distracted, so focused on getting _away_ from Floyd that Riddle didn't see the other student until he ran into him. "Ah, my apologies--"

The student laughed and Riddle's blood ran cold. "Ah, distracted, Prefect Rosehearts?"

Why. Why, of all students, did he have to run into Jade? What puppy did he neglect to pet in a past life?! 

"Y-yes," Riddle managed, carefully moving away and trying to get past Jade. "Now, if you'll excuse me--"

"Goldfishie~" Once again, the heavy weight of Floyd's sins hit Riddle's back, weighing him down. "There you are~ You left me!"

"I--ugh, get _off_ \--I was trying to get to lunch before all the sweets run out again!" A lie, but no one was going to call him out on it.

The chuckle from Jade as he pried his brother off Riddle's back told him that Jade _could_ call him out, if he wanted to. "It's nearly the holidays," he pointed out. "There will be plenty of sweets no matter how fast you get there, prefect."

"Mmm, I bet Goldfishie just wanted to get to lunch so he wouldn't have to tell me what's bothering him~" Floyd, now leaning against his brother as Riddle floundered, smirked. "He was talking to himself in class and looking at Magizon."

"Oh?" Jade's smirk mirrored Floyd's in the worst way. "Tell me, prefect, does it have anything to do with your boyfriends? I heard your vice-prefect talking to some of his classmates about how you were stressed out over something?"

Dammit, Trey. "I--yes. Cater doesn't like sweets. This, as I'm sure you know, is a problem for me. But I am managing just fine, thank you!" Maybe if he was quick he could--

Ah, nope. It was now Jade's turn to keep Riddle from running off, a hand on his shoulder to keep him right where he was. "If you're talking to yourself in class," he said, all false friendliness, "then I doubt you're managing at all. That's not like you, after all, and we would be remiss if we didn't offer our services."

That made Riddle snort. "You offer personal shopping services at the Lounge, now?"

"Naah, but we could make an exception for you, Goldfishie~"

"It wouldn't be too difficult. We have several trend-chasing employees at the Lounge, after all."

"And Jade's used to shopping for other people! He has to buy for me and Azul aaaaaall the time."

"Hmm, only when Azul is busy."

"Which, as I'm sure you know, is all the time." Azul smiled as he joined them and Riddle felt even more of his life fade away. "Isn't this an unusual trio. Is something wrong, Riddle?"

Riddle twisted to get Jade to let go of his shoulder. "You mean other than your fl--friends harassing me? _No_."

"Ahh, Goldfishie, you really need to stop lying…" Floyd moved from Jade's shoulder to Azul, leaning on his head for all of two seconds before jumping away with a snicker. "Goldfishie can't think of a present for the sea bream 'cuz he doesn't like sweets~"

"That doesn't mean anything is _wro--_ "

"Ah." Azul's smile took on a sharp edge that Riddle did not like at all. "Well, I'm sure we could work something out, if you decide you need any help with that. But for now, Jade. Floyd. There's been a change in the plans for Mostro Lounge's winter party and we need to discuss it. You know where to find us, Riddle~ I'll make sure to make any deal worth your while."

As Riddle watched them walk off, Azul pulling out his tablet and showing Jade a spreadsheet, the only thing Riddle could think of was that he was going to find his boyfriends, steal both of their jackets, and create an Octavinelle Free Zone and _never ever leave it._

* * *

Hm. A day and a half, and still no response from Idia, or even Ortho. Perhaps it was time to be concerned...

* * *

"Thank you again for agreeing to this, Vil." Even if Riddle was twitching over the complete lack of... _everything_ that makes teatime, teatime as Vil poured the _plain black unsweetened_ tea from a plain white teapot into a plain white cup, it was only polite to thank him. "I know you're very busy this time of year, with the holiday contracts and photoshoots." God, there were only two chairs, how were they going to move counterclockwise down the table...

Vil hummed. "Of course. If I'm being honest, I've been working a bit too hard lately. A chance to sit down and relax will do me good." He gestured to the sugar bowl; it took everything Riddle had not to add his (now) usual six cubes of sugar and instead just add a modest two. "Now, what did you speak with me about?"

"I'm sure you know by now that I am...in a relationship with Cater."

"Hm, he posts at least once a week about his "totally adorable" boyfriends. Congratulations, by the way."

"Thank you." Riddle took a sip of his tea, nearly grimacing from how bitter it was still. "We're quite happy. Unfortunately, I found out recently that he does not like sweet things."

Vil watched as Riddle gave in and added a third sugar cube, clearly amused. "And this is a problem?"

"When it comes to getting him a Christmas gift? _Very._ I give chocolates or other appropriate candies. I have _always_ given chocolates and candies. Cater doesn't like either of those things." Still bitter. More sugar. "I was hoping, as someone else from Pyroxene, you might be able to give me an idea of what someone as flashy as Cater might like. His social media is less than useless."

There was no response as Vil took a sip of his tea, watched Riddle give in and add that final sixth sugar, and considered the request. "Have you tried asking him?"

Riddle scoffed. "I can't. That would make it seem like I don't care, and I would hate to make him think that."

"And asking someone who hardly knows either of you beyond prefect meetings and his social media doesn't?"

"I--" Hm. That..hm. Riddle took another sip of his tea before gesturing to the teacup; Vil nodded, and Riddle summoned his personal thermos to pour the tea into. "You make an excellent point, Vil. Thank you again for the tea, but--"

"He just checked in at Sam's for a tasting."

"Yes. Thank you!"

* * *

Sure enough, Cater was leaning against the counter at Sam's, chatting and laughing at something the store shop's owner was saying as Sam laid out what looked to be a holiday meat-and-cheese board and other small samplings. Bless Vil; Riddle would have to send him some sort of diet-friendly treat.

"Cater! There you are!"

The two men looked up at his voice. Cater smiled and held his arms open for a hug that Riddle just instinctively went for. "Hey, Riddle~ What's up?" 

"What do you want for Christmas?"

There was a moment of shocked silence before Cater started to chuckle and pressed a kiss to Riddle's hair. "You know me, I'll love anything you give--"

"I was going to give you _sweets_ , Cater." Riddle pulled back to give his boyfriend a Look. "Don't lie. And don't tell me you could have just asked Trey to make them taste differently. That's not _right._ " 

Sam chuckled and muttered something about letting the little demons work this out; Cater just looked at Riddle with a mixture of confusion, affection, and...distress? "Did Trey tell you?"

...ah. That would explain the distress. Riddle shook his head and pressed closer to Cater. "Not directly. He uses his phone to keep track of what he's making. I use his phone to play Cupcake Clicker. He asked me to double check the list the other day and I saw his notes about what he's making you."

That seemed to reassure Cater, at least enough that he was able to hug Riddle back. "Nosy."

"You're my boyfriend! I have a right to be a _little_ nosy, especially when it comes to you not telling me you don't like sweets!" Except he really didn't, and Riddle knew this, but details. Either way, he wasn't _nosy._ It was an _accident,_ and anyway Cater should have told Riddle "My Blood is Pure Sugar" Rosehearts that he didn't like sweets. "So. What do you want for Christmas? What can I _get_ you for Christmas? I'll admit I don't really know what sort of savory or spicy treats might be good, though Deuce suggested nuts and summer sausage--"

Sam snorted. Cater and Riddle both ignored him, and Cater just pressed a kiss to Riddle's head again.

"This is really bugging you, isn't it? You asked _Deucey_."

"It was obvious enough that _Floyd_ noticed, apparently."

Cater laughed. "Tell you what. Why don't we head back to my room, get out my laptop, and I'll give you a few ideas?"

This was going to end in cuddles. Riddle could work with that. "Alright."

"Hey, Sam--"

"I heard, I heard. Y'all get outta here, couples in the store is bad for business! Makes the singles feel lonely!" A laugh. "And I don't want _that_ until Valentine's!"

Once again, Riddle was hit with the sudden realization that the business owners on campus were all amazingly sketchy. Rather than dwell on that, he just let Cater lead him back to the dorms.There were cuddles to have.

* * *

It took Riddle far too long to realize what that annoying _buzzing_ sound was as it gradually pulled him sleep and into a grumpy wakefulness. Grumbling, he began to pat around for his phone, accidentally getting Cater's nose at least once before finding it. Ugh, his neck was killing him--no more cuddling until they pass out on the sofa.

Blinking against the brightness of his phone, Riddle answered the call with a soft but grumpy "Yes?"

"Ah--Mister Riddle Rosehearts?"

Ah. "Ortho. Yes, is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes! I'm just calling to let you know that Big Brother will be emailing you several PDFs of shops and merchants Mister Cater Diamond might like! I'm also to tell you that he doesn't require payment, but as his little brother I'm going to tell you that he'd really like some of the hot chocolate from your homeland, the kind with the marshmallows and different flavors."

For a moment, Riddle debated telling Ortho that Idia's services were no longer necessary, but...well, the work was already done. "Thank you, Ortho. I'll order some of the chocolate and send it to your dorm as soon as I can."

"Alright! Good night, Mister Riddle Rosehearts!"

 _Well_ , Riddle thought as he turned his phone on silent before the emails started coming in and settled back down to cuddle with Cater, _at least I'll have an easy reference for his birthday._

**Author's Note:**

> did I title this "Untitled Gift Exchange" as a reference to Untitled Goose Game? yes
> 
> did I title this "Untitled Gift Exchange" because I couldn't come up with a title? also yes


End file.
